Comparing ourselves to others allows them to drive our behavior. I often worked too hard to determine what others expected so I can make sure I fit in. I was constantly feeling less than, wanting to be greater than – leading to an ultra-competitive and unhealthy mindset.
You can be anything but you can’t be everything. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re often comparing their best features against our average ones. Not only do we naturally want to be better than them, the unconscious realization that we are not is self-destructive.
There is one thing that you’re better at than other people: being you. This is the only game you can really win. Once you acknowledge that lifebecomes about being a better version of yourself. And when that happened for me my effort and energy was directed at being awake and aware and raising my emotional IQ. I became more content, experienced a freedom that is hard to put into words, accepting and graceful rather than bitter and angry. Comparison fostered a false identity – once that identity went away I was able to focus on the present moment and be authentic.